No matter what business you are in, there will be times when you must have some difficult conversations. These can be with customers, vendors, employees, or partners. The ability to handle those conversations well is the difference between a great business owner and one who is just average.
When the time comes and one of these difficult conversations arises, you need to be prepared to meet it head-on so that both parties come out on the other end of it unscathed and, hopefully, satisfied as well.
Why are some conversations difficult?
There are several reasons why a conversation may be more difficult to have than others.
- Everyone has a different perception
- There is a lot at stake
- Emotions are taking over
When some or all these factors are present, then a conversation can quickly take a turn for the worst. But if you are prepared, you can help to guide the discussion down the right path so that everyone is communicating the right way and the messages get across clearly.
Ask yourself three questions
When you know that a difficult conversation is coming, stop and ask yourself:
- Why am I feeling anxious? Figure out what is the source of your anxiety and let it go.
- What do I want from this conversation? What is the end result for you, the team, the customer, the company?
- What steps can I take to move us forward? What actions will help you to move to a positive outcome for everyone?
Knowing these things will help you better understand yourself and your mindset before starting into a difficult conversation.
Start being observant
Now that you have let go of your anxiety and emotional attachment to the pending conversation, step back and take a look at the situation from the outside. What is being said? What is not being said? Do all of the parties in the conversation feel safe to speak about what is going on?
If people do not feel safe, they are going to clam up and the conversation has ended before it starts. Watch and see everyone’s body language. Do they seem open to discussion or closed off? Does it look like they’re about to make a run for the door? Are their arms crossed across their chest and they have a defiant gleam in their eye? If everyone is not comfortable during the conversation, take step back to let everyone get relaxed so that you can make progress.
Keep the conversation flowing
Remember that a good conversation is about listening and responding. It is not about becoming defensive. When that happens, real conversation shuts down as everyone starts trying to defend their positions and opinions to one another. Make sure that everyone suspends judgement and is ready to listen to one another objectively. Conversations become productive when everyone is open and honest without becoming standoffish. As the leader, be ready to steer everyone back on course and make them step back if the discussion starts to become difficult again.